Apr
11
Posted by admin
Relationships are made of fragile bonds. They need to be continually nurtured and respected in order to grow. In a relationship, your partner and you are responsible for providing value to the other half and if you don’t, sometimes these bonds break. If you however feel that you are still in love with your ex after the breakup, it is time to get them back. I am a girl, so I will be writing this from a girl’s perspective. However, I am sure some of these tips will be useful for guys as well. Below, you are going to find 7 ways to get your ex back…
7. Stay strong
No matter what you do, it is important that you stay strong. You should never come off as being needy. Clinging, begging and acting desperate is a big break-up no-no. This will more than likely chase him off, instead of attract him back. I am not saying that breakups are easy, I personally know that they are tough, but you should keep the crying and yelling behind closed doors.
6. Minimize your contact with him
Closing those doors of communication may seem like they are not going to do any justice for you, but they will. This is one of the most important steps. There is a reason that the two of you have reached this point and obviously, someone here needs a break. Give your ex some space and time to clear his mind. Sometimes, starting over is the best thing you can do.
5. You need to be flexible
This is not time to start barking out orders such as “pick up your things by Monday or I am going to throw them out.” You are wrong if you are under the impression that you are going to be scaring them to the point that they will return to you. Take note that your ex went away from you because they were unhappy with some aspect of the relationship. This probably means that it is time for you to become a listener and pay more attention to his needs. That’s one way to build the foundation for a successful relationship.
4. Get out of your room
It is time to turn off the broken heart songs, lift yourself up off of that bed or couch and go out and have some fun! Give those old friends a ring and get yourself out of the house. You need to develop other forms of entertainment and stop worrying. This does not mean you have to go out and start dating again. You don’t even have to be interested in anyone. The key here is to have fun with friends and family and stop being depressed.
3. Figure out what went wrong
Now is the time to sit by yourself and figure out what went wrong. Unless you can understand what led to the downfall of the two of you, how can you set things right? What made the first couple of weeks or months together so special? Why did you feel so strongly when it was a new relationship and when did it fizzle out? Try to pinpoint exactly what changed in your relationship.
2. Be honest with him
If you still love him, then tell him this at least one time. Honesty is always going to pay off. Even if he does not say anything back, he will still know that you love and care about him. This is something that will stay in his mind. If it is meant to be, then he will remember this.
1. Show respect
Of course, when you are trying to get an ex back, you will need to show respect, no matter what sex you are. Having respect for another person is showing them that you still care. Don’t go throwing their stuff out, have respect for their stuff as well. Sure, you can put it in a box and stuff it in your closet so that you do not think of them 24/7, but remember girls, respect them. Do not go up to them in public and start yelling at them. Do not complain and whine about them to your friends. Leave aside the petty issues and jealousy. Remember that you have both wronged each other so take responsibility for your mistakes.
Getting your ex back in a relationship can be a tough job. However, if you find that you do not succeed at it, then don’t let this get you down. If he does not come back to you, then this obviously means that it is not meant to be. It is time to move on and overcome the breakup, girl. What about you, are you hurting and need to get your ex back badly? How long have you had those horrible break up blues? Have you ever gotten back together with an ex? How did you do it?
Apr
11
Posted by admin
We’ve all heard it before: horror stories of married couples breaking off their supposedly permanent relationships because one party had an affair.
What if you have been trying your best to make your marriage work? Is there really a foolproof way to ensure that you or your husband would not be having an affair?
Take a look at some of the tips that I gathered on how you can make your marriage affair-proof:
Nurture your own friendships, and allow him to have his.
You may be tagged as a couple when you get married, but you are still separate individuals with separate interests. If he can’t live without golf or bi-weekly poker nights with the guys, let him do so. Similarly, keep your own circle of friends so that you can do the activities that you’re sure he will never get into.
This way, you’ll have more freedom to become separate individuals while harnessing your marriage at the same time.
Go on dates.
Even if you’re already married, go on dates as if you were still on the boyfriend-girlfriend phase. This is especially true if you have kids to take care of. Having some quality dates together will bring back the romance in your relationship.
Be with other happy couples.
It’s much more tempting for you or your husband to stray if you hang out with singles who are still in the dating scene and who find the word commitment foreign. When you’re with another happy couple – you’ll have a deeper appreciation of the bond that you have as husband and wife.
If temptation is right in front of you – talk about your spouse.
I remember the movie “Knocked Up” where Katherine Heigl’s sister in the movie was approached by a guy in a bar. She sort of blurted out that she’s married – so it immediately killed off the guy’s advances. Isn’t that the best way to ward off a potential affair? Never pretend to be someone that you’re not and you won’t be tempted to try out other’s flavors, so to speak.
It may be harder than it looks, but you do need to put a lot of work into making your marriage affair-proof. Just imagine how it will break your entire family’s heart if things get bad because of an affair that’s not even worth it in the first place.
Feb
06
Posted by admin
One should always keep in mind the fact, that love is the most important factor for a relationship to last till the end. It could be said in other words that every relationship demands love. A far as the term, Love Hate Relationship, is concerned, it is important to note that this term can be used to define all those kinds of relationships, where the couple harbors the feelings of love and enmity towards the each other.
A Love Hate Relationship comes into existence when two people who were deeply in love with each other develops a feeling of hatred towards each other due to some reason or the other but is not being able to bid farewell to this relationship due to the affection or fondness that they had developed for one another in the years that they have been together.
A Love Hate Relationship develops when the realization dawns on a person that he/she does not enjoy his/her partner’s company and would prefer to call off the relationship and it is this feeling that gives rise to conflicts between a couple.
The couple therefore does not waver to express their hatred towards each other at the slightest opportunity that they get.
The word love comes into the frame, when inspite of all disputes the couple tries to the best of their ability to make their relationship work by remembering those happy as well as those special moments that they have spend together.
Nov
18
Posted by admin
1. He always calls at the last minute.
If he calls and asks you to go out at the last minute, then you might not have been his first choice — someone else may have cancelled on him, so now he’s asking you. Why else would he call you at six o’clock on a Friday evening and ask if you want to go out that same night? A guy who wasn’t playing games wouldn’t dare wait until the last minute to ask you out on a Friday night!
2. He never wants to go out.
Does he ask you to come over, or want to come to your place, but never wants to actually go out anywhere? Then he might be hiding. If he’s seeing another girl, then he might be afraid to run into her or her friends if you go out.
3. He’s always sending calls to voicemail.
If he constantly sends his calls to voicemail when you’re together, or he’s getting and ignoring a lot of text messa, he might be avoiding someone — like his girlfriend.
4. He doesn’t want you to meet his friends.
A guy who is serious about you will want to introduce you to his friends and family, and will want to meet yours.
5. He doesn’t want you to stay.
If he never wants you to stay the night, or to stay at your place overnight, he might have somewhere else, or someone else, he needs to spend the night with. Like a wife or girlfriend.
6. He freaks if you leave anything behind.
If he does let you stay the night, but freaks out when you leave a bobby pin or an earring or a t-shirt, then he might be worried another girl will see those things. Otherwise, what guy would even notice if you left a hair pin behind?
7. He’s hot and cold.
One day, he seems deeply in love, crazy about you, totally into you. The next time you see him, he’s standoffish and distant. This is a sure sign of a guy who is playing games with you.
8. He won’t call you his girlfriend.
If he won’t call you his girlfriend, or introduce you as his girlfriend, then he doesn’t see you as his girlfriend. He sees you as someone he’s casually dating, or as just a friend with benefits.
9. He never talks about the future.
If you can’t pin him down on plans for the holidays or spring break or even next weekend, then he probably doesn’t see you in his life for that long. Player! Time to move on!
10. He doesn’t share.
You tell him everything, your hopes and dreams, your favorite color, EVERYTHING. But he won’t tell you anything! Is he mysterious, or a game-player? You guessed it. He’s probably playing games.
So annoying, right, ladies? I hate it when guys play games! But for every guy who’s a player, there’s another guy behind him who is courteous, gorgeous, AND into you! So move on!
Nov
14
Posted by admin
When we were children, we were taught it’s wrong to lie. I try my best not to do it, but my boyfriend was a master at lying.
Why do men lie? Who knows. But men lie. And here are some tips on how to know if a man’s lying to you.
1. He has an answer for everything.
If you catch him in what you think is a lie, but he always has an answer for your suspicions, then he may be lying to you.
2. He always hesitates before answering.
If he always has to wait for a few seconds before answering a question from you, then he’s probably lying. He needs the time to think of an answer other than the truth.
3. He fidgets.
If he won’t make eye contact, or he plays with his hair or taps his feet or shakes his legs or just fidgets too much when you ask him a question, he might be lying. Scientists look for this when doing polygraph tests.
4. He has to check with his friends to get his story straight.
If you ask him where he was last night, and he has to call his friends to get their story straight before he can answer you, then he’s almost certainly lying.
5. He talks about a “friend” who lies to his girlfriend.
If he has a “friend” who he says lies to his girlfriend a lot, and he laughs about it, he may think it’s okay or funny, and might try to lie to you, too. Or he’s pretending about the “friend,” and the liar is actually him.
6. He acts guilty.
If he acts guilty, then he probably has done something wrong. If he’s done something wrong, his first reaction may be to lie about it, either by not saying anything when you ask him what’s wrong, but by just plain lying about it.
7. He protests too much.
If you catch him in a lie, and he protests too much that he is innocent, and that you’re wrong, he probably was lying. If he wasn’t lying, he probably wouldn’t care so much, especially if it was something little.
8. He accuses YOU of lying.
When my ex-husband would get caught in a lie, he would either pretend I was crazy, or accuse ME of lying. He also accused me of cheating when he was actually the one cheating, but he almost ALWAYS did this when he was lying.
9. He lies to other people.
If he lies to his parents, his boss, or his friends, why would he tell you the truth?
10. He lies about little things.
If you catch him lying about little things, like drinking the last of the milk or eating your Doritos, then chances are, he’s lying about big things, too. Like, where he was last Friday night, when he was supposed to be with you.
11. He sends you to voicemail a lot.
If you call to check up on him, and he just sends you right to voicemail, he’s probably hiding something, and doesn’t want to answer your call because he doesn’t want to risk you catching him lying.
12. Other people have told you he lies.
If his friends have told you that he lied to his ex-girlfriend all the time, or worse, if SHE tells you, then you should not trust him. Be careful! He may be lying to you, too!
Yes, men lie. But now that you know how to tell is he’s lying to you, you’ll be able to know right away when he does. You don’t need a lie-detector test!
How do you know when your man, or your ex, is lying to you? Guys, how do you try to fool your girlfriend when you’re lying? Do share!
Oct
01
Posted by admin
We all know exactly what it is like to be certain we have let go of something sorrowful or worrisome, only to find ourselves in a similar sad situation moments later.
Dropping this person and picking up that person doesn’t end the loneliness that drives us into dead-end relationships. This isn’t letting go. We have only managed to put the emptiness on hold.
Changing jobs to get away from someone or something that sets us off doesn’t cancel our conflict. This just delays the inevitable angry feelings that always surface whenever we feel threatened. Our anger cannot keep us safe from an insensitive world — this anger is the insensitivity itself.
Now, here’s the greatest secret on earth: the truth is that genuine letting go is very simple and, above all, natural; as natural for you and me as it is for a tree to shed the heavy, sun-ripened fruit that clings to its branches. Why? Because both man and tree, in fact all living things, are created to drop what is no longer needed.
For the tree, the falling fruit carries its matured seed to the ground. No unnatural force is necessary. In a similar fashion — that is to say, under higher but equally exacting laws — these same friendly forces are waiting to do for you what you haven’t been able to do for yourself. You need only learn to cooperate with these powerful and timeless principles to be able to let go of any emotional bitterness, relentless regret, anxious worry or troubling thought. The rest will be done for you.
This is what the secret of letting go is all about. First must come the understanding that we are still carrying around the accumulated defeats of a lifetime and that these weary weights have only served to make us someone sorry, not someone special.
This initial shock may shake us, but it is really a major breakthrough. It heralds the first in a series of miraculous self-separations in which we begin to see that we have been living from an unseen part of ourselves: A self that thinks clinging to wreckage is the same as being rescued!
Now we understand why all of our past efforts to let go have only left us holding a new problem. But now we also know, at last, exactly what it is that must be dropped. We must let go of this sorry self that is certain it is better to suffer and feel like someone than it is to just let go and quietly be no one. Have no concerns how this task will be accomplished. That is Reality’s responsibility.
This higher knowledge that is now beginning to reveal you to yourself is not mental. It is coming to you from a lofty, wise and powerful part of yourself which lives way above everyday thinking and its ceaseless conflict over what may or may not be best.
Your newly awakening inner-nature knows what is best for you because it sees life without the painful confusion and contradictions that always accompany compulsive self-interest. For instance, this higher intelligence knows that you don’t need to ache even when you are sure you must.
Once you have made contact with the still secret self within, it does the rest. That’s right. It is this higher part of yourself alone that has the strength and wisdom to gently open your hand so that out of it may drop all that has been making you unhappy.
Believe me, you are on the verge of the single greatest discovery any human being can make. The secret of letting go not only holds the keys for ending what is unwanted, but locked within this same supreme secret is the beginning of your New Life — the birth of a new nature that never has to hold on to anything because it is already everything.
Dare to proceed. Let the following special insight speed you on your way: Letting go is the natural release which always follows the realization that holding on hurts.
Sep
01
Posted by admin
Flirting is a fun, social and healthy human behavior. It is a way we introduce our existence to others, express our self-confidence and let others know that we find them attractive. Even though it is an overall harmless behavior, flirtation seems to be a problem in most relationships. People find it offensive and disrespectful, as well as causing them to feel jealous. There are ways you can deal with your partner’s flirtatious ways without having to end the relationship or argue on a regular basis, by understanding the reasons and meanings behind your partner’s flirting.
Okay, so you would rather have your partner not flirt at all. This may be what you want, but not necessarily what you are going to get. We all want to feel special and like we are the only one our lover has eyes for, but the truth is, your partner’s eyes have a right to explore whatever or whoever it is around them, as do you. Being in a relationship never means that you own your partner or can start changing things about them, which is why it is so essential that you study your partner’s personality, attitudes and habits while you are still in the dating process and before you decide to have an official relationship.
What you should focus on is the reasons behind your partner’s flirting. It could very well just be that your partner carries a high and self-confident personality, and chooses to express that confidence through flirting, as many people do. If this is the case, then you were probably already aware of your partner’s confidence when you met him or her, but just grew less fond of it as you grew more emotionally attached. In these cases, it would be best to get in touch with your own self-confidence to prevent insecurity, and learn to accept your partner’s personality.
Maybe your partner’s flirting has a deeper meaning behind it other than just a high self-esteem. Unfortunately, sometimes our partners will flirt because they really are attracted to other people and it could damage your relationship, depending on how much it bothers you. Being attracted to other people does not necessarily mean that your partner wants to go and cheat on you with all those people. Being attracted to others could mean that your lover is simply acknowledging the good looks that another person carries and stops it at that point. Attraction does not always create a temptation to cheat and you should allow your security to grow on this fact.
If the flirting truly bothers you and you find that you cannot continue a relationship that includes such behavior, then the best thing you could ever do is be straightforward with your partner. Having an honest and open discussion about it will be of much more help instead of you just getting angry and bottling up your feelings and blowing up later down the road when you have reached the ultimate limit. Tell your partner that you feel disrespected and hurt when he or she pays attention to other women or men. Asking them why they feel the need to flirt will also paint a clearer picture for you, with a clear answer from them of course. Without giving your lover ultimatums, tell him or her that you have tried to adapt to it but just cannot and you would love it if the two of you could meet somewhere in the middle.
You teach people how to treat you and the relationship, and by keeping quiet over the things that bother you, like flirtation, you will only cheat yourself and your partner from experiencing a relationship you both deserve. It is obligatory that you always continue to be honest with yourself and your lover about the feelings you feel and thoughts you think. Sometimes you will not always get the results you were hoping for. Perhaps your partner will never stop flirting with other people, and though you cannot change your partner’s personality and habits, you can change a situation that causes you unhappiness.
As the person who has committed to be in a relationship with you, your partner should always care about how you feel and think about the things that transpire in your relationship. They would never want to continue doing anything that would make you upset, disappointed, jealous or insecure in any way. This means the flirting as well. Your partner cannot change who they are, but they can show their interest and care about how you feel and can put in the best effort they can to make you feel better. Still, if they refuse to change or try to lessen their flirtatious activities, then perhaps it is time you re-think of whether or not this is the right relationship for you.
Dealing with a flirtatious partner can be easy or it can be extremely stressful and damaging to your self-esteem. It all depends on your personality as well. To determine what is best for you, you must get in touch with yourself and ask the questions necessary for you to find the best answers. If you do not want to lose your partner but do not like the flirting, then you need to make a choice to either learn to accept this side of his or her personality, or exit the relationship and find someone who will not arouse your jealousy and insecurity. Only you have the power to take control of what you will and will not take in a relationship.
Aug
20
Posted by admin
How do you know when it’s time to say goodbye to a relationship? In any intimate relationship-especially in a marriage-it’s not a good idea to let a doomed partnership drag on, simply to avoid the pain of a breakup.
Signs of Trouble
There are some warning signs that your relationship is in trouble. If you recognize any of these signals in your own partnership, you may have some work to do to get things back on track.
- Your life priorities have changed significantly. Major life changes often force people to reconsider what’s important, and this can make a once-healthy partnership lose its bearings. A near-death experience such as a serious accident or illness, being unexpectedly fired from a job, or losing a family member can cause anyone to reevaluate his or her life and decide to make some changes. Everything looks different after such an experience, and some things lose their meaning. When this happens, these new ways of seeing things must be addressed, since it’s unlikely that such changes will just disappear.
- The arrangement still works, but the passion is missing. Lots of doomed relationships manage to work-for a while. But when neither partner has any genuine enthusiasm for the relationship, it may be in trouble.
- You no longer trust your partner. After a partner has broken the bond of trust, it can be difficult to get it back. If your partner has had an affair or was irresponsible with a large amount of money, it is understandable that you feel angry and hurt. Over time, these wounds may not heal. Broken trust can cause serious harm to a relationship, and, if it is not healed, the relationship may not recover.
- Your partner’s lifestyle or values clash with yours. It is difficult to sustain a long-term relationship when you and your partner do not agree on some of life’s most basic things. If you want to make and save a lot of money, but your partner seeks a simple life and would be happy living in a small house with few luxuries, this is a potential problem. If your partner seeks excitement and wants to be around people most of the time but you are basically a loner who prefers solitude, you may find yourselves growing apart. You may have been attracted to each other in the beginning because you brought each other some balance, but, over the long term, the very things that drew you to each other may doom your relationship.
Deciding to end a relationship can have enormous implications. If you are married, have children, own a home, and share finances, leaving your partner can be very complicated and will affect everyone in the family. It is important to make such a decision thoughtfully and for the right reasons.
More Warning Signs
If your partner regularly does one or more of the following things, you have good reason to be concerned.
- Behaves abusively with your friends and family
- Betrays your trust
- Breaks promises
- Cheats on you
- Does not challenge you mentally
- Does not support your goals in life
- Is extremely jealous without cause
- Is not financially self-supporting
- Opposes or ignores your thoughts, feelings, or concerns
- Physically abuses you
- Pressures you to have sex when you are not interested
- Resists your attempts to improve the relationship
- Shares your secrets with others
- Tells lies regularly
- Threatens violence
- Tries to isolate you from your friends and family
- Verbally abuses you or puts you down
These behaviors are very serious and potentially dangerous to you. If you are in a relationship with someone who treats you in any of these ways, you should seriously consider seeking the assistance of a mental health professional.
The Impact of Stress
Stress can make it harder to decide what to do. If you are questioning your relationship and have problems with money, are stressed at work, or the kids are acting up, deciding what to do becomes even more difficult. It’s important to take your time and resist the temptation to make a fast decision that may later turn out to be the wrong thing for you.
Tips for Making Good Relationship Decisions:
- Take your time making any important decision such as whether to end an important relationship. Even though you may feel confused and indecisive, it is important to recognize that this situation requires a deliberate and careful decision-making process.
- Making a relationship decision calls for both instinct and logic. It’s important to trust your gut, but don’t lose track of reason.
- Look at the issues from different points of view.
- Consider the immediate and long-term implications of each option (staying or leaving), including the impact of each on other people in your life.
- Consider the worst- and best-case scenarios, as well as the possibilities in between.
- Give your relationship every chance to get back on track before you call it quits. Ask yourself if you have really tried everything. If you have, and it still isn’t working, it may be time to move on.
Seeking Advice and Support
Involving a few trusted friends in your decision-making process can help you avoid the tendency to rush into a decision and hurry to get it over with. Consulting others helps you step back from the situation and see it in a broader context. While it is more difficult and time-consuming, getting the advice and support of others can help you reach a better decision about whether to end the relationship. This is true for relationships or any other kind of decision.
You may decide to work with a professional counselor or therapist during this process. This is strongly advised if you are in an abusive relationship. A licensed, experienced professional can help you sort out the issues, help you see things you may not be aware of, and give you feedback on how you are seeing things. Involving an objective outsider can be a smart move because you can feel free to say everything that is on your mind without worrying about offending someone you care about or being judged for your thoughts and feelings.
Finally, if you decide that the relationship should end, minimize the chances for emotional fallout by planning how, where, and when you will deliver the news. When making such an important change in your life, it is better to set aside spontaneity in favor of being slow, deliberate, and certain.
